I have been avoiding this post but also adamant that I wanted to do it to remember my boy. This will be a very long detailed post and have some details no one wants to know but I need this post for me.
On Friday, July 7, 2017 Ranger passed away just shy of 12 years old. (Born September 22, 2005)
He had been having a rough 2 months and we had been back and forth to the vet. In 2015 Ranger was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and we have managed his health with two medicines since then. But recently those medicines weren't doing enough.
Back in May I decided to order a large outdoor kennel for him because he was having issues with bladder control (old age and side effect of the meds). I hated for him to be dealing with that and being unable to go potty when he needed to. Plus I hated cleaning the mess. The kennel I found for him would give him space to go potty on the grass but not have to go where he is laying and resting. The day before the kennel was delivered is when Ranger's health issues got more serious. With all of this going on I decided not to open the box and put the kennel together if he wouldn't be around to use it.
Pics from doctor visits
Twice I took him to the vet crying and preparing myself to hear I couldn't take him home. But each time the doctor was willing to adjust meds and see how he did. Each time we would see some progress.
On July 6th Ranger seemed to be doing much better so I decided it was time to put the kennel together and give him more space to get comfortable and be able to potty if needed while we were gone. I think I picked the hottest day in July. I was pouring sweat and he was panting as he cheered me on doing the assembly. The irony is not lost on me that he passed away the day after I finally opened that box and put the kennel together.
He knew right away it was his and was so excited he got in while I was putting on the canopy.
On July 7th I was driving home from work when Kyle called me in a panic. He said 'Dianna, Ranger is gone...He's dead... oh my gosh he is covered in ants and I have to clean him up...boys go inside.' I was crying and telling him that I was on my way. I hung up and called my sister because I was supposed to be babysitting her kids for a while so they could go out for her birthday. I cried the whole way home and tried to convince myself he wasn't gone. I told myself that when Kyle got closer to him and checked on him he would be sick but not dead. I called my mom and just cried and cried. It took me 12 minutes to get home and it was some of the longest minutes of my life. I kept convincing myself he wasn't gone, wondering if he got too hot in the cage, trying to remember if I loved on him that morning before I left. My mind was racing.
When I got home Kyle came to me and just held me. I asked if he was really gone and Kyle said yes. It was obvious that it had happened early in the day and unfortunately nature started to take its course so there was no doubt he was gone. He had cleaned Ranger up and wrapped him in a towel.
I am so unbelievably grateful for Kyle. I am grateful Kyle found him instead of me. I am grateful Kyle was so sensitive to clean him up and take care of him for me. I am grateful Kyle handled digging a grave in the sweltering heat of July and burying him in the back of our lot. I am grateful we as a family got to surround his grave and pray for him. I am grateful God chose to take him in His time instead of me having to make that very difficult decision.
I know some of you are reading this and thinking 'he is just a dog' but he was so much more to me. Yes, he was definitely a dog. And it isn't the same as my own child but he was an important part of my life. Here is a recap of our life with Ranger.
Ranger has never been the easiest dog. I blame the fact that I got him when I was only 20 years old, a full-time student, living in an apartment, and never had a family pet before (my dad's work dogs on the ranch don't really count). But oh my goodness he was cute!
I bought him (yes, bought not rescued) at a pet expo in November of 2005 and I still remember calling my parents to ask if it was okay. The reason I did that was because it was almost the holidays and I knew I would have to take him home to Ennis with me on break. And my dad isn't a fan of 'pets'. I also remember calling my sister, Angela to make sure it was okay since we would all be going to visit her in New Mexico for Thanksgiving.
I played around with different names like Chewy (Chewbacca) and Teddy because I thought he looked like a little bear cub. But the day I brought him home I was wearing a Texas Ranger shirt and later that night I thought of the name Ranger.
My mom decided to be in charge of the middle name and wanted a Catholic saint name. She found Bernhardt which means 'brave as a bear' and couldn't have been more perfect.
This little guy was only 2 pounds and they said he would end up being 5-7. This was perfect because I totally pictured carrying him in my purse like Elle Woods on Legally Blonde. Well they were just telling me what I wanted to hear because he ended up being 12 pounds!
When he was a little puppy I remember a few things distinctly-
*we went to a drive in movie wear he pooped on the back dash
*on our trip New Mexico he hated the grass and didn't want to potty outside. He was so little he played in a guinea pig cage. And while we ran errands he painted with poo all over my sister's bathroom (poor guy was nervous).
*he went back and forth to Ennis sitting in my passenger seat a lot
Ranger was never properly trained and did some pretty good damage to my apartment. He chewed baseboards and pooped in the bathroom where he stayed all day nearly daily. Bathroom issues was a pretty regular thing with Ranger.
He loved to sleep under my bed and actually tore the batting off of the box spring, would climb up and sleep in there. I could feel him climb up and then hear him breathing. It was the funniest/weirdest thing. Again I blame myself for his bad habits and lack of training.
I wanted so badly for Ranger to be a dog that just walked with me and didn't have to be on a leash, but he was always a flight risk. I remember chasing him around my apartment complex trying to catch him to go back inside after his morning potty break. He would make me late for class and work. People would come over and he would dart out the door and run around the complex. He would escape at my parents and run across the field. Seriously, he was a runner!
Yikes! So far his story isn't looking so good.
In summer of 2006 Kyle and I started dating. Ranger was with us a lot and Kyle would even watch him sometimes when I was out of town. Kyle still remembers when Ranger escaped his apartment door and took off. Kyle was so worried that Ranger would get run over on his watch.
I also remember twice Kyle got pooped on by birds when we were walking Ranger.
Getting a bath in my college apartment. He had so much hair!! And he loved bubbles
Though Ranger's behavior wasn't the best in some areas he put up with a lot. I was in school, working a lot, and had a boyfriend so he spent a lot of time at home cooped up. I was thankful for having a roommate because Jodi and her boyfriend Corey were around too to let him out, play with him, and feed him.
Here he is after getting a bath and cut at the groomers with a red white and blue scarf thing.
Ranger was my first pet and first baby and everyone knew that. He was so special to me that my mom had him at Kyle's groomals (the guys version of bridal portraits...we made that name up) and he came up to the church before our ceremony for a few pictures with me. My mom made him that bowtie.
Once Kyle and I got married and moved into a house things got a lot better for Ranger. We had a regular schedule and more importantly a fenced backyard.
Back before the rule of no dogs on the furniture (because it wasn't safe with the babies...and Riley shed a lot!)
In 2009 we got him a friend, sweet Riley Rue. Now I must say Riley was a very easy dog. She potty trained right away (well not potty but whatever), didn't have to be leashed, and didn't destroy things. I don't know if it was different breeds, me being more experienced, having a backyard, or what but she was a very good dog.
However, she was the typical pesky little sister that picked on him, stole his bones, his food, whatever. But he put up with her and loved her. They played so well together and had a sweet relationship.
Now Kyle and I had two passengers. They loved going with us places and riding in the front seat between us. They would take turns fighting for my lap or Ranger would pick his spot and Riley got the leftovers. He wasn't afraid to pull rank.
In 2011 we welcomed Cooper to the family and once again Ranger was great with him. With Ranger having so much hair he was the perfect target for baby fingers. Cooper would grab his hair and Ranger would sit there waiting for us to help him out. He never snapped at Cooper. He and Riley always saw the boys as new playmates. I remember them bringing toys to the boys to throw. Even as newborns they would put a ball on the blanket next to Cooper.
I love this picture!!
Casen joining the family in 2013 was no different. A new person to pull his hair but also a new person to play with and share food. And Casen was a messy eater so he got to eat a lot!
Seriously, Casen would sit right by Ranger while he ate. He would put his face up close. Sometimes he would actually put his hands in the food bowl, grab a few pieces, and then want Ranger to eat out of his hand. And Ranger never snapped.
We always joked about how photogenic Ranger was. Seriously, go back and look at all the pictures in this post. He looks at the camera and smiles.
When we moved to our current home things got tough. We ended up giving Riley away to one of my cousins (one of the hardest things I have ever done and I still miss that girl so dang much!). Our new home is on an acre and doesn't have a fenced in backyard. So we anchored a long leash into the ground off of the back porch for him to go outside.
He started having regular accidents in the house and we couldn't leave him out when we were gone. We weren't willing to let him ruin our carpets and wood floors in our brand new home. We started crating him each time we left the house. We later found out some of this was because of the CHD and some because he was a bit defiant.
Ranger had gotten old and lazy. He wasn't real active and seemed to move from spot to spot to just lay down. But you don't realize how much they were there until they aren't.
I miss putting him in his cage before I go to bed. I miss feeding him each morning and evening. I miss checking his water bowl to see if it is full. I miss walking through the house and watching my step to make sure I don't step on him. I miss getting of the couch and climbing over him when he slept on the floor under my feet. I miss the sound of his nails tapping on our floors. I miss the jingle of his color when he would get up and shake off after a nap.
I even miss the bad. I miss waking up to his barking in the middle of the night to potty. I miss him eating all of the food we messy humans drops. I miss him sitting under the table and swiping food out of the boys hands. I miss reminding the boys to push in their chairs so Ranger doesn't climb on the table and eat their food (like he did so many times).
Every Friday I remember that drive home just two months ago and I just miss him.
I know this was long and to some a bit dramatic but I want to remember these things. He was my first baby and I loved him. He was my best friend and companion when I was single and lonely. And if losing him was this hard I can't imagine losing a parent, sibling, spouse, or child.
I miss this guy so much
Ranger Bernhardt, Ranger Joe, Black dog, Dog dog
